Every September I feel the sting of dread. Life takes on a whole new groove. School begins, thus the homework. Ballet and orchestra begin, thus the chauffeuring. Seven choirs kick back in, thus the rehearsals. The air gets crisp, thus the sweaters. I’m holding up my palms in a stop-in-the-name-of-love position.

I truly don’t want to feel this way. Coming off an incredibly busy summer, it’s even worse. There’s some sense of entitlement happening in me where I think I deserve down time and freedom, as if life should be eternally lived at the beach. This is no metaphor, I really own this dream.

Today, in my vulnerability, I’m going to repent in front of anyone who chooses to read this blog. Here is my attempt to surrender to the Lord as the fall falls:

Father, create in me a clean heart and renew a steadfast spirit within me. You have given me a blessed summer. I’ve felt the sun on my face and the pavement under my feet repeatedly. You ordained each day and poured out Your blessings in ways I can’t even grasp. Wash my mouth of complaints. Purge my heart of dread. Make me pliable in Your hands for this task ahead.

Each turn of the season comes from Your hand. As the leaves fall, remind me of Your goodness, and the fact that YOU DO NOT CHANGE. Help me see the blessing of new work. Make me diligent and determined to do it all for Your kingdom’s cause. Then I will know Your joy and fruitfulness.

Forgive me, Lord. I do not deserve Your patience. Change my mind, shape my heart, and mold me into Christ’s likeness this fall. Only because of Him in me, I can conquer in His name.

What profit is there to the worker from that in which he toils? I have seen the task which God has given the sons of men with which to occupy themselves.

He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also set eternity in their heart, yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end.

I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one’s lifetime; moreover, that every man who eats and drinks sees good in all his labor—it is the gift of God. (Ecclesiastes 3:9-13)

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