Amy's Pen

In the middle of the night several weeks ago, I was pleading with the Lord to help me pursue a healthier diet and beat down my sugar and carb cravings. I desire to do this not only for my unborn child, but to honor God in all I do, including my eating. The next day the doctor’s office called to inform me that I had flunked my glucose test and would need to take a three-hour glucose test to make sure I did not have gestational diabetes. My first thought was, “So that’s how You’re gonna help me!” For the next ten days I cut out all sugar and fast carbs. Physically, this was a big help to me. I began to realize how much of a role my diet was playing in this pregnancy.

All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything (1 Corinthians 6:12).

My prayer is that Christ would be my only Master. Anything that occupies my heart and mind above Him is an idol. Not to be mastered by an idol takes prayerful daily diligence. This simple prayer, “Be my only Master,” keeps my eyes focused on Him, not on my taste buds.

The Lord knew what I specifically needed to make a change. He answered my prayer that night. And I consider myself doubly blessed that I passed the second round of testing. How gracious is our God who grants us exactly what we need when we need it.

How do we truly become worthy of the kingdom of God? John Piper states, “To ‘walk worthy of the Lord’ means to walk in a way that the Lord deserves from us, not in a way that we deserve the Lord.” Colossians 1 mentions that we should walk worthy of the Lord to please Him. Notice it doesn’t say to please ourselves or gain some sort of merit with God. Legalistic living, in other words, viewing our accomplishments as producing more of God’s favor, is a dangerous way to live.

Our walking “worthy of the Lord” should instead reveal how worthy He is. We should act in a way that is aligned with His calling of us and befitting His glory. We must walk by faith. Faith and the fruit it bears in our lives, such as love, fit the worth of God.

Let’s not think, “I must have faith and love so I am worthy of the favor of God.” We have no ability on our own to gain or maintain standing with God. So instead, let’s think, “God’s favor is free.” Walking worthy of that favor throughout our lives, whether in joy or sorrow, means walking by faith. The power of God not only begins, it also continues the work of faith in us. Looking to the value of our God and His infinite worth is walking worthy of Him.

To You, O LORD, I lift up my soul.
O my God, in You I trust,
Do not let me be ashamed;
Do not let my enemies exult over me.
Indeed, none of those who wait for You will be ashamed;
Those who deal treacherously without cause will be ashamed.
Make me know Your ways, O LORD;
Teach me Your paths.
Lead me in Your truth and teach me,
For You are the God of my salvation;
For You I wait all the day (Psalm 25:1-5).

The first verse of this Psalm is a beautiful picture of David’s dependence on His heavenly Father: “I lift up my soul.” There is no one I would dare lift up my soul to than the Almighty God. To be dependent on Him is a joy, a luxury in my life. We often hear the saying, “If you want something done right, do it yourself.” Our society persuades people, especially women, to strive for self-sufficiency. Though I understand this mindset in certain situations, spiritually, I am completely and utterly dependent on my Savior.

I am incapable of managing my soul or dealing with the cleansing of my sin. I am completely dependent on the power of Christ working within me to accomplish anything of worth. Praise Him for the opportunity to be dependent!

Now after this the Lord appointed seventy others, and sent them in pairs ahead of Him to every city and place where He Himself was going to come. And He was saying to them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore beseech the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest. Go; behold, I send you out as lambs in the midst of wolves. Carry no money belt, no bag, no shoes; and greet no one on the way (Luke 10:1-4).

These seventy were constant hearers of Christ’s doctrine and witnesses of His miracles. Here, we see some of them heading out on perhaps their first ministry trip. From verse four, we can imagine it is not going to be an easy journey. They have nothing with them. They must accept any and every condition that comes along. Their job is to confront sinners and pronounce judgment on them when rejected. I remember when Patrick and I took our little leap of faith into music ministry and I quit my teaching job. We thought THAT was a big deal! Compared to what these men faced, it was peanuts!

The Lord grants them great success and they are fruitful in their efforts against evil. The seventy returned with joy, saying, “Lord, even the demons are subject to us in Your name.” And He said to them, “I was watching Satan fall from heaven like lightning. Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing will injure you. Nevertheless do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are recorded in heaven (Luke 10:17-20).

At first glance, one would think Christ is referring to Satan’s original fall when He says, “I was watching Satan fall from heaven like lightning.” But He is referencing something different. The verb “was watching”—“theoreo” in Greek—is not about a one-time event, but rather about Christ’s being a continuous observer of His men. He was looking on as they worked powerfully in His name.

Maybe with each soul rescued, there is a furious last protest of hell. It’s as quick and dramatic as the force and fury of a lightning bolt, and then it is gone. The soul is rescued. Satan’s kingdom is slowly losing its grip on the world. Christ is the Victor! Those whom He has purchased are allowed to worship at His feet, while the enemy is crushed beneath them. Oh, that Jesus would see Satan falling like lightning through the work of our hands . . . every gracious remark or gentle notion, every selfless deed or pure motive, every soul we reach for Him . . . Bam! Lightning strikes! And we are that much closer to destroying the enemy’s rule over the earth.

Do you remember the first time you were aware of your sin? As a young girl, I remember stealing a penny I found on the living room floor of our neighbor’s house. I thought about it for weeks. Should I return it and be honest about it? Should I casually drop it out of my pocket next time I visited, returning it to its original position? The world would say, “It’s only a penny!” But for this little girl, it lay heavy on my heart. Unfortunately, I can’t remember how the story ends! I’m guessing I was never honest about it, because I am pretty sure I would have remembered that! But no worries, I have repented.

I also vividly remember sitting in Sunday School at our tiny country church in Kentucky as an eight-year-old, listening to the teacher discuss sin and thinking proudly to myself, “I don’t do those things. I can’t even think of one sin!” I fear that, even now, I fall into that mode of thinking. When I measure my life against the mess around me in the world, it is easy to boast, “I don’t do THOSE things.”

Instead, the believer should reflect on having been called out of darkness into His marvelous light, recognizing our daily sin, our fallen state, our rags compared to the riches of Christ, for He is our perfect holy Lord. We should fall to our knees praising Him for the grace covering us, the grace we soak up and dwell in. This kind of mindset would not only turn us into a more grateful people, a people more sensitive to sin, but it would aid us in being more sympathetic to the lost and their condition.

At Christmas time, I usually find myself thinking about Mary and the journey she traveled in her servanthood to God. Her willingness to bear the child would mean great loss to her socially, emotionally, even physically. It’s interesting to consider that Mary was one of the first women to know the sex of her baby ahead of time! She knew she was having a boy. She even knew His name. Maybe she said something to Joseph like, “Please have the crib built before Jesus arrives.” I imagine her knitting little blue shirts and someone saying to her, “You know, it might be a girl!”

She knew who He was and she knew He was coming. We know who He is. We know He came and we know He is coming again.

But then I imagine her next pregnancy as Jesus is toddling around. This one is normal. She couldn’t plan ahead; she knew nothing! This could have been frustrating to her, but probably it just made Him and the circumstances surrounding His birth all the more special in her mother’s heart.

Patrick and I are pleased to announce we are expecting our second child. As with our first child and Mary’s other pregnancies, we will wait to find out what it is. We’ll watch Liliana toddle around and think back to her birth and the special time surrounding it. Some time ago we asked her, “Would you like a sister or a brother?” She replied, “I want Juice.” But when she finally grasped the concept that a baby is inside my tummy, she said slowly, “Ohhhhh Myyyyyy.”

It is a special time of year to be expecting a child. The fact that our Lord, the God of all creation and time, chose to come in this way is a true marvel. And the reason He came, to save that which was lost, is even more miraculous!

May we be a people who are ready for His return. May we have our cribs built, our shirts knitted, our lives being lived in a way that says, “Come, Lord Jesus, Come!”

I’ve been working on the 23rd Psalm with Liliana, who is now two and a half. She repeats after me or sometimes joins in. The other day, when I said, “He makes me lie down,” she responded, “He makes me go nigh-night.” We cracked up at her interpretation! It is so sweet to hear her small innocent voice speaking the Truth of God’s powerful Word. This psalm is a wonderful reminder that He alone offers protection, provision, peace, and yes, rest!

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You have anointed my head with oil; My cup overflows. Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever (Psalm 23).

We just returned from a three-week music ministry tour through Europe. We went from Germany to Belgium to France to Germany to Switzerland to Germany to Austria and back to Germany again! A lot of hours were spent on the road. We are grateful to the International Baptist Convention for lending us a car.

Living in the middle of cornfields was not what my Parisian husband envisioned for his life. It is an unexpected gift that the Lord allows us to travel as we do. Returning to Patrick’s roots is always a joy, but it still feels like a long way from home, especially for our two-year-old. And yet, we were at home because we were with God’s children.

It is a privilege to worship with believers from many nations. International churches give a small glimpse of eternity. There may be 50 nations represented in a congregation of only 200 hundred people. How incredible it is to feel the connection of the Spirit amongst these brothers and sisters in Christ from all around the globe. Commonality in Christ is a phenomenon the world will never experience. They simply do not know what they are missing.

My role as “Mama” has taught me lots of things. I can change a diaper, play fetch with the dog, fix a ponytail, pick up toys, and talk on the phone all at the same time! Sometimes I marvel at how my life has changed since Liliana’s arrival. Other days, it’s as if she’s always been here. Hearing that little sweet voice say “Mama” is my favorite music. It astounds me to think that my heavenly Father feels the same about me. He hears me when I call. He enjoys fellowship with me. How can that be? I’m not as cute as Lillie!

When God the Father looks at me, He sees a purchase made by His Son. I am His and He is mine. I can call upon Him with childlike trust and confidence. I should live in a way that represents Him well. “Child of God” is the greatest role I will ever play, even more significant than “Mama.”

Yes, my daughter has taught me much, but this realization is by far the sweetest.

My Pastor’s wife reminded a group of women this spring that God is the Blessed Controller of all things. Early the next morning, I was working diligently in the office when our dog decided to scratch his neck in the doorway of Lillie’s bedroom, where she was still sleeping. His collar bounced around with the tags ringing out like a loud bell for what seemed an eternity. I mean, how long does it take to scratch an itch!?! I was greatly annoyed at the thought of him waking her up prematurely–not necessarily for her rest, but for my work! I then remembered, “God is the Blessed Controller of all things.” Yes! I believe this is true. How can I grumble and complain over something so silly? Maybe the Lord wanted Lillie up. She did not awaken, but it’s as if I did. Though it goes against human nature to let go of the reins, I was reminded that I need to abandon the fleshly desire to be in control of all things.

Once when Patrick and I took a dance class, the instructor immediately ridiculed me for trying to lead my partner. Instead, I needed to let him lead. Not only was this true on the dance floor that day, but in our daily roles as husband and wife. And it is true of Christ, my Bridegroom. In this dance called life, Jesus orchestrates my steps.

I fear I spend most days searching for a way to control this or that. Christ holds my hand, yet I step out in front of Him as if to lead Him in a better direction. This image brings me great sorrow. For He is Teacher, Comforter, Healer, Creator and Possessor of all, All-knowing, All-powerful, All-sufficient, and is the Blessed Controller of all things. Sigh. Thank You, Jesus, that I can breathe a big sigh of relief knowing You hold the reins.

The steps of a man are established by the LORD,
And He delights in his way.
When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong,
Because the LORD is the One who holds his hand (Psalm 37:23-24).