Author: Amy

It’s 1:00 a.m. and I just pulled out my computer. I’m hoping if I write this blog and get these thoughts out of my mind, I can sleep. As I was trying to doze off earlier, I ended up counting the major concerns of my heart. I should’ve counted my blessings instead. Even sheep would have been a better alternative! However, I landed on ten; ten big hitters are weighing on me. 

I don’t consider myself a worrywart or even an anxious person. But lately, dread has been my constant companion. These ten concerns flow like streams, sometimes merging into a flood that drowns my nervous system. I am in a tiny boat on this raging sea. But hey, at least I’m in a boat! Of course, we know who owns the boat. He’s the same One who creates the waves. He also has the authority to tell the wind “Peace, be still” at any moment, so I am utterly surrendered to His timing.

But as I await His next move, I can’t help but wonder if this is ever going to get better. Perhaps this is the new me, my new lot in life. I told a friend today, “I’m beside myself. And I don’t like looking over and seeing this version of me standing there. She doesn’t enjoy what she sees when she looks back at me either. These twins are at the end of themselves. They’re a mess!” If I have lost you on this analogy, you’re not alone. That is how I feel too, a bit lost.

I teach that feelings sometimes do not stem from truth. How I feel is not always my reality. Thank goodness! Regardless of my feelings, I am not lost, nor am I floating aimlessly at sea. I am held and protected. There is specific purpose in this season of my life. Might as well sit back and enjoy the boat ride, yes?

The problem is I don’t know how much enjoyment I can muster. Actually, that’s not true. I do know. The answer is zero percent on my own. My union with Christ will be my source of joy and strength when I lay down this dread. His shoulders are broad enough to carry ten major concerns, especially considering He is the One who orchestrated them for my life.

There are two options for how I can pray: “Why have You allowed these stressors? Do something!” or “Thank You that there are only ten. I will wait for You.”

Friends, this is why gratefulness matters. It centers us on truth, on reality, and on the One who is trustworthy in our storms. When we seek His face, we will find the ability to be grateful, even joyful! Through our union with His Son, we will exhibit grateful trust. And this kind of gratitude changes the way we do life. Whether it’s ten or ten thousand concerns on my heart, I want to be grateful like that. I gratefully trust You, Lord. I do. I do. I do. 

And those who know Your name will put their trust in You,
For You, LORD, have not abandoned those who seek You.
(Psalm 9:10)

Night, night. 

I recently connected with a friend I haven’t gotten to chat with in years. We spoke on the phone for two hours, laughing, sharing, and catching up on the news we’ve missed. I do believe I will never forget this phone call. As we were wrapping things up, she said, “Well, it’s been real.” I responded, “There has never been a conversation more real than this one!” We cracked up again.

As I ponder that phone call, real absolutely rings true. We held nothing back. Every struggle or heartache with its raw emotions was on the table. We sympathized in these things and rejoiced in the triumphs of life as well. However, we are living in completely different spaces spiritually. We kept this real too, discussing our faith with total honesty. I asked her if she’s attending church. “Not at all.” I asked her if she is pursuing her relationship with the Lord. “Not at all.” Again, we giggled over the frankness of our conversation. I shared, “Usually people try to impress me with their spiritual know-how, but your honesty is wonderfully refreshing.” She remarked that she has nothing to prove and is assured of my love regardless of her station.

After all these years, we still have much in common: our humor, our love of the arts, motherhood, and of course, our past spent together as young women trying to figure out early adulthood. And here we are today, middle-aged with shifting hormones, separated by thousands of miles and millions of moments lived without each other. We look in the mirror and see the same 19-year-old spitfires we once were, but now our flames are fueled by different sources.  

My friend has survived years of great suffering relationally, emotionally, and physically,  and it has landed her in a place of self-sufficiency. I write these words with confidence, knowing that if she reads them, she will agree with my assessment. I have not endured the same kind of suffering, though life has not always been kind to me either. Unlike my friend, I find myself in this season of life more keenly aware than ever that there is nothing sufficient about me. I pled with her (because we were keeping it real) to remember there is only One who is sufficient to meet her needs. In a world that has failed her, Christ is her expectations met. Apart from Him, she can do nothing of eternal worth. And without Him, her genuine and lasting peace isn’t possible. “My grace is sufficient for you” is not some cliché Jesus quote. His grace is what will sustain her, shape her, hold her, and it is what will one day bring her home to Him.

In our efforts to keep it real, let us never forsake the only real truth there is: Jesus is Lord. He is in charge, sovereign over the details of our lives, both the sufferings and the triumphs. He alone is the all-sufficient One. 

After Paul quotes Jesus’s words, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness,” he explains why he lays down any attempts of self-sufficiency: “Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in distresses, in persecutions, in difficulties, in behalf of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9–10). Why endlessly strive for a fallible strength when we can rest in an infallible strength? The Lord of all creation dwells in His own and His strength is perfect.

Paul also states, “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work among you will complete it by the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6). Undoubtedly, it is more difficult for the self-made woman to find her confidence and security in Christ, but the work was begun years ago in my friend, and He promises to complete it. And when He does, she will truly know what is real.

Our family relationships are a physical representation of our spiritual relationship with the Lord. My marital union with Patrick is a picture of the bride (church) and her Bridegroom (Christ). Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church. And wives are to submit to their husbands as the church submits to Christ (Ephesians 5). This symbolism is found in parent-child relationships as well. As parents, Patrick and I have always understood that if our daughters will learn to obey us, then they can learn to obey their heavenly Father. In fact, when we are instructing them, we ourselves are being obedient to Him (Proverbs 22:6; Deuteronomy 6:6–7; Ephesians 6:4).

I have driven this truth home to my girls and, on occasion, I have even explained it to my choir students: “If you learn to obey those in authority (your teachers), you will ultimately understand what it means to obey God. If you fail to submit to earthly authorities, there may be temporary consequences, but if you fail to obey the Lord, the consequences are eternal!” Yes, choir is so much more than singing! 

In this season of life, I am responsible for both raising teenage daughters and caring for elderly parents. Recently, my father was unable to renew his driver’s license, so I have been promoted to full-time chauffeur. Trips to the pharmacy, the grocery store, doctors’ offices, church, and more now fill my schedule. I help my parents in a variety of ways and, in doing so, the Spirit has revealed to me another way our family relationships represent our relationship with our heavenly Father…

After returning my parents to their apartment from one of our outings, I pondered my new chauffeur role as I drove home. The Spirit was convicting me, calling me to deeper surrender. He might as well have audibly said, “You are done obeying your parents, but you will never be done obeying Me. You obey Me by honoring them. You honor them now not through obedience but through service. Serving them is your role, your calling, your charge. ‘Daughter’ is your identity; it is who I made you to be! Serving your parents is a privilege, for by honoring them, you honor Me.” 

You see, I had been looking at my relationship with my parents all wrong, examining it only from the perspective of parent to child. And now I see it from the child’s perspective, viewing my service to my parents as a specific way to answer God’s call on my life. And there is joy to be had in this journey, because Scripture is clear that while disobeying the Lord brings hardship, obeying Him brings blessing (Genesis 22:18; Deuteronomy 28; Psalm 19:11, 128:1–2; Proverbs 16:20).

Paul explains that the commandment from Exodus 20:12 is the first commandment that comes with a promise; it is one of blessing:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with a promise),  SO THAT IT MAY TURN OUR WELL FOR YOU, AND THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON THE EARTH. (Ephesians 6:1–3)

Dishonoring my parents through disobedience as a child came with a sting, both in my heart and on my bottom! They taught me well. And through their obedience to the Lord in instructing me, they are now blessed by my service! And hopefully, someday, my daughters will follow suit. I joked with Patrick when I was pregnant, “I’ll take the first nine months and you take the second!” And I’ve teased my girls too, saying, “I’ll take the first half of your lives and you take the second half of mine!” 

As a daughter growing up under my parents’ authority, I was commanded by God to obey them. As an adult, I am no longer obligated to do so. However, honoring one’s father and mother has no expiration date. My role in obedience has transitioned to service; this is how I honor them now (1 Timothy 5:4).

The Spirit’s conviction on my drive home absolutely liberated me. My schedule has ceased to trump what truly matters. I now view the use of this time as a vehicle to obey my Maker. And my ability to cherish this season of life has greatly increased. I praise the Lord for this timely conviction, and I beseech Him for the strength and determination to answer my calling well. There is no way to adequately describe how blessed I am to be both the daughter of my heavenly Father and the daughter of  Millard and Dottie Branson.

For Patrick’s birthday, I bought him tickets to see the comedian Nate Bargatze. The event took place on Valentine’s Day at the Gainbridge Fieldhouse in Indianapolis, which is a huge sports and entertainment arena. The night began with thinking we’d be late after forgetting to leave a car key behind for our daughter and having to turn around and head back home. Traffic was also ridiculous because of the holiday. After finding a parking spot, we started our walk to the Fieldhouse. Light rain fell as we tromped through the downtown streets filled with graffiti and street musicians. 

Once we approached the arena, we landed in a long line of people waiting to get in. We wondered why we were the only “smart” ones with an umbrella. After waiting thirty minutes, we finally reached an open area of stairs leading to the doors. Another twenty minutes passed before we reached the security scanners. Two different women in line had warned me about the size of my purse but had also mentioned being able to check it for $5. That seemed more reasonable than walking back to the car and getting in line again. However, the security guard informed us that the purse check was back across the street at a hotel. Good grief! Patrick headed that way to drop off the purse and the umbrella while I went in and joined another long line at the women’s restroom. 

Once we were reunited, we set out to find our seats, taking an elevator ride up five floors. The opening acts were already thirty minutes into their routines, so the arena was dark. An employee told us which stairs to use, and we began the long climb up to the cheap seats. I wasn’t wearing the best shoes for this and by the time we reached the top where our row was, I was feeling hot and wobbly. We crawled over at least twenty people who all had to stand to let us through the narrow foot space. Several times I worried I would lose my balance and topple over onto the people just below. Each step felt precarious.

We finally found our seats, but people were in them! After some investigating, we realized we had entered the wrong section. Ugh! Luckily, there were two empty seats in front of where we were, so we climbed down over them—something you’d see teenage boys do, not middle-aged, tired adults! 

Because people kept trickling in and knowing the event was nearly sold out, we knew it was only a matter of time before we would be asked to move. So in between comedians, we transferred to the end of the row. And then again, when the moment was right, we started the long climb back down the stairs. We exited and re-entered another door and began our trudge back up in the dark. We paused at the top to wait for the comedian to finish her set before making another row full of people rise for us. This also gave me time to find my sea-legs before walking that tight rope. Honestly, what good are all these squats I do?! 

When the moment was right, we made our move once more, asking multiple people to stand for us as we crawled past them. I even sat down in an empty seat at one point, thinking we’d made it, only to realize Patrick was still on the move! Finally, we found our seats! Breathing a sigh of relief, we were then able to rest and watch the show… or what was left of it. 

At end of the night, as we were exiting our row, Patrick felt a tap on his shoulder. It was a friend from our church. She then explained that she and her husband were there with two other couples we know. We were only a few seats away from them in our row! And, here’s the embarrassing part… they had watched our entire adventure: the whole thing! We learned that if we had simply cut across the aisle we would have been only a few seats away from our spots. In fact, we would have passed right by our friends, or over them I should say. But no, we took two more flights of stairs! What a riot! 

The paths we choose in life bring either blessings or troubles. Sometimes, the Lord allows blessings to come from troubles, but it is better to choose wisely in the first place! Just cross the aisle and avoid the stairs.

For the eyes of the Lord roam throughout the earth, so that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His.
(2 Chronicles 16:9)

We joked on the way home that we had been reminded that we are never not seen. I am thankful that we serve a God who sees all. Sometimes I wonder why He chooses the specific steps He ordains for my life. But I have learned that no matter where those steps are taken, they are seen—always by Him, and sometimes by others. Do I take them with full trust in Him so that all watching will be encouraged in their faith? Am I making a mark on His kingdom that has eternal purpose? 

It is a stretch to say my many steps on Valentine’s Day had something to do with anyone’s spiritual health, but it was a reminder that I am never not seen.

By the way, Nate offered a clean, fun evening. The only profanity we endured was in the rainy streets. But honestly, I am not sure there is any human skill, comedic or otherwise, that is worth all of that money and effort. Did I mention that we also had to stand in a long line in the rain to get my purse back? This time was without our umbrella. 

There have been days when the Lord has completely stunned me; Friday was one of those days. I woke early and couldn’t go back to sleep. I asked Him whom to bring before Him in prayer. A specific couple came to mind, so I spent a few minutes beseeching Him on their behalf. I asked the Lord to bless their marriage, to broaden their ministry, to protect their hearts and minds, to keep their bodies healthy, and to give them great wisdom concerning their finances. I pondered how they could bless others with their money and lifted it all up to Christ, knowing He would faithfully lead them. When I finished praying for this couple, life’s distractions kicked in, and I moved on with my day.

When I got home from taking Sabrina to school, I plopped down on the couch and opened my computer to start working. Patrick was at the kitchen island sorting a stack of mail we hadn’t gone through. He came across a card from the people I had prayed for just two hours earlier! As he began to read their handwritten encouragements, I wish I could’ve seen my own face! Patrick read for what seemed an eternity; I couldn’t wait to tell him how I’d randomly prayed over them just that morning!

Included in their card was a sizable check. They desired to help with Patrick’s recent medical bills. I gushed all over him explaining my specific morning prayers while realizing that their card was on our counter the entire time! I quickly texted the couple to express both our gratitude and the Spirit’s specific prompting. One of her responses was, “And your prayers are timely, as we’re on our way to meet with our financial advisor!”

 Later, I shared this story with my dad as we drove back from his doctor appointment. He remarked that the Lord always knows how to specifically strengthen us in our faith. It is true that God does not need my prayers to fulfill His plans. He is completely able to accomplish them; I bring nothing to the table. And yet, He commands me to pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17). He instructs me to trust His hand of provision and seek His kingdom above all else (Matthew 6:31–33). There is ram already in the thicket when I obey (Genesis 22:13). These moments of His obvious presence and provision not only grow my understanding of His guidance, they inspire me to obedience. 

After dropping off my parents at their assisted living residence, the Lord whispered “Now, stop next door and visit your widow friend.” I quickly parked. I did not delay to obey. How could I not go where He leads? He’s the only One who knows the way!

At the beginning of the pandemic, the whole world was on hold. We simply waited. No one knew what was next; we were in foreign territory. Were we in true danger? Would life ever resume as it once was? Whose opinion was correct? One shoe had dropped and we waited for the next one to fall, utterly perplexed as to what it would look like.

Uneasiness and unrest easily accompany the unknown. However, there is a calm reality for the believer in Jesus Christ. Waiting on Him means we are trusting the One who is never surprised, who is fully in control, and who is executing perfect plans.

The psalmist explains why we can confidently wait on the Lord in Psalm 130. He shifts between calling God “Jehovah,” with all capped letters (LORD), and “Adonai,” with lowercase letters (Lord). Our God is both. He is Jehovah, translated “I am who I am” or “I will be what I will be” or “I am the One who is.” He is the self-exist, self-sufficient, unchanging God who is faithful to keep His promises. He is also Adonai, our master and ruler. The psalmist incorporates this title of respect because, though many earthly lords or figures of power exist, there is only one Lord of heaven and earth, one Master and Ruler over all. This is why waiting on Him is worthwhile.

Notice the use of both LORD and Lord:

Psalm 130
Out of the depths I have cried to You, LORD.
Lord, hear my voice!
Let Your ears be attentive
To the sound of my pleadings.
If You, LORD, were to keep account of guilty deeds,
Lord, who could stand?
But there is forgiveness with You,
So that You may be revered.
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
And I wait for His word.
My soul waits in hope for the Lord
More than the watchmen for the morning;
Yes, more than the watchmen for the morning.
Israel, wait for the LORD;
For with the LORD there is mercy,
And with Him is abundant redemption.
And He will redeem Israel
From all his guilty deeds.

2020’s pandemic was not the first time the whole world was in waiting. Prior to the birth of Christ, there was a deep longing for the fulfillment of hundreds of prophecies concerning the Messiah, the long-awaited chosen One. Like any good gift, Jesus was worth the wait! 

And now that I have Him, He is still worth the wait. David declared, “I waited patiently for the LORD.” I hear you, David. Me too. I too wait for Him to put my feet upon a rock, to make my footsteps firm, and to put a new song in my mouth. I wait for Him to heal my afflictions, to meet my every need, to give direction to my wandering, and to impart wisdom for my decisions. I wait for Him to give me rest, to grant me His strength. I wait for His presence. I wait for Him more than the watchman for the morning! I wait for His return. I wait for my LORD. I wait for my Lord. I wait.

In this season of life, my goal is to laugh. I aspire to be the Proverbs 31 woman who laughs at the future (verse 25). I could write pages about various trials and life changes that have hit the Fata household recently, but I’d rather spare you those gory details and put things plainly:

But our God is in the heavens;
He does whatever He pleases. (Psalm 115:3)

The reality that our Lord is operating outside of what I think is best is a tremendous comfort. His sovereignty means my surety. I trust He allows every hardship because He knows what my heart needs to ultimately bring Him the most glory. 

The way I see it, I have two choices when each frustration arises: I can sink down into the mire and wallow around in self-pity, or I can remember that my feet are firm upon a Rock and stand up straight, look boldly ahead, and laugh. For my God is in the heavens and He does whatever He pleases. 

I know the enemy seeks to keep me from effective ministry. I am aware that He desires to bury me with distractions and disturbances which render me useless for the kingdom. This era of life has brought me to my knees with new purpose. I claim the powerful name of Jesus over every event. I submit my life under His authority with joy and determination to thrive in my ministry for His name’s sake, come what may. 

I truly love that He gets to choose. So, see me laughing. 

As a follower of Jesus Christ, I can be joyful even in the unhappiest of circumstances. I have learned it is better to be joyful than to be happy because joy includes contentment! And contentment comes through my union with Christ. 

We just debuted a new worship song titled “Jesus Is the Joy.” He really is! No matter what we are facing or enduring, joy is a possession that is ours through our oneness with our Savior. The question is not “Do we have joy?” but rather, “Will we choose to live in it?”

JESUS IS THE JOY
Joy in the baby boy born in Bethlehem
Joy in the carpenter with nail prints in His hands 
There is joy
Jesus is the Joy

Joy in Messiah’s birth, sent to save His own 
Joy in the Son of Man who made this earth His home 
There is joy
Jesus is the Joy

CHORUS
You are the Fount of Happiness
For there is joy in righteousness
A heart that’s bent in praise
Is contented in Your ways

Joy in my Savior’s blood shed upon the tree
Joy in the broken chains, He has set me free 
There is joy
Jesus is the Joy

Joy in the dark of night, joy in my pain 
Joy in the daily fight, joy because He reigns
There is joy
Jesus is the Joy

Of all that brings the Father joy
Of all His pleasures to abound
A manger held a baby boy
A Savior wore a thorny crown

Joy in the Father’s eyes
He sees His Son in me
Joy in the here and now
And all eternity
There is joy
Jesus is the Joy

Joy in the Father’s arms
Accepted, loved, and held
Joy in my Savior’s love
I know all is well
There is joy
Jesus is the Joy

For Harbour Shores Church, series in Philippians
© 2025 Portion Music/ASCAP

There are many reasons to mourn the assassination of Charlie Kirk, but at the base of this devastating loss for his wife Erika is the harsh separation from half of herself.

Marriage is so much more than a commitment to spend the rest of your life with someone of the opposite sex. It is more than supplementing your income. It is more than sharing the load of household duties and raising children. It is more than the sanctifying process of learning to commune with someone far different from yourself. Marriage is ordained by God to be a physical representation of the spiritual union He has designed between His Church and His Son. 

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are parts of His body. For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, as for you individually, each husband is to love his own wife the same as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:25–33)

Patrick has been in Europe helping his mother move from Germany to Romania (he gets home tonight!). Whenever he is gone, I feel as though I am walking around half here. It is obvious that half of me is missing when I try to do basic life tasks that usually involve him. When he is absent, I lose my ministry partner, my pianist, my musical arranger, my choral accompanist, my worship team co-leader, my driver, my personal chef, my handy man, my technological support, my graphics designer, my counselor, my prayer partner, my therapist, my confidant, my best friend, my lover, and so much more. 

Without my husband, the roles I typically play shift drastically, if not totally disappear. I am no longer part of a team or a helpmate, but rather I am flying solo through every event, big and small. 

I realize that many people fly solo every day. Tragically, Erika Kirk must now don the mantles of widow and single parent. She is forced to forge ahead through every life task without the support of her loving husband. The world watching her might be able to comprehend the depth of this sorrow, but only fellow believers in Jesus Christ understand the spiritual strength He supplies in the physical loss. 

In fact, when followers of Christ appear to be “flying solo” in this earthly journey, they aren’t. There is a Captain at the helm. There is a Lover of our souls. There is a Confidant and a best Friend. Jesus is our Fount of wisdom, our Joy in the journey, and our needs met. 

When half of me is missing, all of me is held.

On the day we were taking our firstborn to college, Patrick and I drove into town to rent a vehicle large enough for her belongings. We then separated, and I went in a different direction so I could drop off our dog at his sitter’s. I then traveled the long country road home consumed by my thoughts of all this day held, and I began to weep. Truly, this was the day I had dreaded since I learned I was expecting Liliana. I knew the years would fly by without my ability to hold them. This day had loomed in the distance for so long, and suddenly, it was upon me, catching me off my guard and causing my heart to ache. 

As I wept and prayed and worshipped the Lord for the gift of this dear daughter, a specific memory flooded my mind. It was a scene from Lillie’s pink nursery when she was a newborn baby. I was standing next to her black crib watching her sleep, and I found myself in total awe of the wonder of new life. In complete and utter gratitude to the Lord for blessing me this way, my hands lifted in His praise as high as they could go. With deep, heartfelt thanksgiving to my King, I wept and worshipped Him, knowing I had been highly favored with the gift of this treasure. I prayerfully expressed my desire to give her wholeheartedly back to Him.

Today, I spent some time in Lillie’s room. She’s been gone from home for only a couple of days. Though I am incredibly excited for her with what this new phase of life at the conservatory entails, I am sad. I think I’m struggling to believe this day has actually arrived; waves of grief wash over me at any given moment. However, there in the shadow of my sorrow lingers that deep, heartfelt thanksgiving that I have carried for over eighteen years. 

I dusted and organized her bookshelves and sorted the miscellaneous items she left behind. I looked through her high school memorabilia and enjoyed many precious memories from her special and unique journey. And then I found myself standing by her bed once more, in the exact same spot I had stood in back in May of 2007. With my hands lifted to the Lord as high as they could go, I wept and worshipped Him, knowing that I have been highly favored with the gift of this treasure. And I prayerfully expressed my desire to give her wholeheartedly to Him yet again.

So I will bless You as long as I live;
I will lift up my hands in Your name. (Psalm 63:4)