Our family relationships are a physical representation of our spiritual relationship with the Lord. My marital union with Patrick is a picture of the bride (church) and her Bridegroom (Christ). Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church. And wives are to submit to their husbands as the church submits to Christ (Ephesians 5). This symbolism is found in parent-child relationships as well. As parents, Patrick and I have always understood that if our daughters will learn to obey us, then they can learn to obey their heavenly Father. In fact, when we are instructing them, we ourselves are being obedient to Him (Proverbs 22:6; Deuteronomy 6:6–7; Ephesians 6:4).
I have driven this truth home to my girls and, on occasion, I have even explained it to my choir students: “If you learn to obey those in authority (your teachers), you will ultimately understand what it means to obey God. If you fail to submit to earthly authorities, there may be temporary consequences, but if you fail to obey the Lord, the consequences are eternal!” Yes, choir is so much more than singing!
In this season of life, I am responsible for both raising teenage daughters and caring for elderly parents. Recently, my father was unable to renew his driver’s license, so I have been promoted to full-time chauffeur. Trips to the pharmacy, the grocery store, doctors’ offices, church, and more now fill my schedule. I help my parents in a variety of ways and, in doing so, the Spirit has revealed to me another way our family relationships represent our relationship with our heavenly Father…
After returning my parents to their apartment from one of our outings, I pondered my new chauffeur role as I drove home. The Spirit was convicting me, calling me to deeper surrender. He might as well have audibly said, “You are done obeying your parents, but you will never be done obeying Me. You obey Me by honoring them. You honor them now not through obedience but through service. Serving them is your role, your calling, your charge. ‘Daughter’ is your identity; it is who I made you to be! Serving your parents is a privilege, for by honoring them, you honor Me.”
You see, I had been looking at my relationship with my parents all wrong, examining it only from the perspective of parent to child. And now I see it from the child’s perspective, viewing my service to my parents as a specific way to answer God’s call on my life. And there is joy to be had in this journey, because Scripture is clear that while disobeying the Lord brings hardship, obeying Him brings blessing (Genesis 22:18; Deuteronomy 28; Psalm 19:11, 128:1–2; Proverbs 16:20).
Paul explains that the commandment from Exodus 20:12 is the first commandment that comes with a promise; it is one of blessing:
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with a promise), SO THAT IT MAY TURN OUR WELL FOR YOU, AND THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON THE EARTH. (Ephesians 6:1–3)
Dishonoring my parents through disobedience as a child came with a sting, both in my heart and on my bottom! They taught me well. And through their obedience to the Lord in instructing me, they are now blessed by my service! And hopefully, someday, my daughters will follow suit. I joked with Patrick when I was pregnant, “I’ll take the first nine months and you take the second!” And I’ve teased my girls too, saying, “I’ll take the first half of your lives and you take the second half of mine!”
As a daughter growing up under my parents’ authority, I was commanded by God to obey them. As an adult, I am no longer obligated to do so. However, honoring one’s father and mother has no expiration date. My role in obedience has transitioned to service; this is how I honor them now (1 Timothy 5:4).
The Spirit’s conviction on my drive home absolutely liberated me. My schedule has ceased to trump what truly matters. I now view the use of this time as a vehicle to obey my Maker. And my ability to cherish this season of life has greatly increased. I praise the Lord for this timely conviction, and I beseech Him for the strength and determination to answer my calling well. There is no way to adequately describe how blessed I am to be both the daughter of my heavenly Father and the daughter of Millard and Dottie Branson.
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