Amy's Pen

In an effort to pursue growth, we can find ourselves running full speed down a rabbit trail. These little tangents are either well-traveled roads where others have chased the same frivolous pursuits, or they are territory where few have gone before us. As we venture out, we may gain knowledge in some respects or even recognize road signs of needed repentance. The Lord is gracious to use each circumstance in our lives as a teaching tool, a lesson to be learned, a wound to be healed, a battle to be fought, or even a victory to be won. He ordains the steps of His children in order to transform us into the likeness of His Son. Our sin nature, however, drives us to make turns in the road that may not be the best choice. How thankful I am for His protection on these threatening journeys.

There is but one road to travel in our Christian faith. There is only one Truth to set our feet upon. The Word was. The Word is. The Word will be. It is timeless. It is an endless well of nourishment. It is a healing balm. It speaks to the heart of every matter. When I am tossed and torn, it refocuses my mind. When I am weak and worn, it strengthens my resolve. When I am accused and shamed, it clarifies my purpose and restores my hope. The Word shows me where to walk and when to flee. I shall run the way of Your commandments, For You will enlarge my heart (Psalm 119:32).

His love letter is God’s beautiful gift to us. May we never set it aside or make it out to be less than it is. Too often, attempts are made to place our experience upon it, instead of letting its truths speak to our experience. Your testimonies also are my delight. They are my counselors (Psalm 119:24). Once we understand the counsel of the Word, our right knowledge will lead to our right behavior, and thus our staying on the correct path. (Col. 1:9-10)

In this world of flashing lights, I pray the Word of God will be the only one that illumines my path as the Spirit guides me to living a life for the glory of my King.

I have restrained my feet from every evil way,
That I may keep Your word.
I have not turned aside from Your ordinances,
For You Yourself have taught me.
How sweet are Your words to my taste!
Yes, sweeter than honey to my mouth!
From Your precepts I get understanding;
Therefore I hate every false way (Psalm 119:101-104).

Jesus was our ultimate example of how to live. He showed us how to love and serve one another. He gave us a clear picture of the Father. He taught us how to weigh our motives, how to pray, and how to manage an earthbound life. But what is making a dent in my heart these days is His example of setting aside His rights. His ability to let Himself be misunderstood astounds me.

We live in a culture that puts great emphasis on speaking our minds and claiming our “rights,” and yet I am learning that surrendering them is needed in my service to others through Christ.

While He was being accused by the chief priests and elders, He did not answer. Then Pilate said to Him, ‘Do You not hear how many things they testify against You?’ And He did not answer him with regard to even a single charge, so the governor was quite amazed (Matthew 27:12-14).

Jesus displayed no need to defend Himself, even though He understood the horrific outcome. This in and of itself is remarkable, but what has me marveling is His ability and willingness to take our sins upon Himself. He knew no sin. His body had never known its darkness. And still, in His greatest hours of physical torture and loss, He bore every sin of His people for all of time. The weight of my personal sin is rottenness in my wee bones. How did He take all of the wicked acts we have ever committed upon Himself? How?! Talk about injustice! Talk about being misunderstood! Yet, willingly He endured it all for His bride.

I struggle greatly when I am misunderstood. I have a strong desire to set the record straight and make sure everyone is not only on the same page, but especially that they are okay with me! As I battle with letting go of this self-focused need, I picture my Savior in His torment. His humble submission served a bigger purpose. As I commune with His sufferings, which are mine in abundance, this small task of letting go doesn’t seem so grandiose. I don’t need to push my agenda. I can relax in His authority to handle the situation. I can surrender to His plan and perfect will. Not only can He manage these moments with truth and clarity far better than I could, but I am then given the tremendous gift of rest.

When John saw Jesus coming toward him, he cried out, “Behold the Lamb of God Who takes away the sin of the world!” The next time I am unnecessarily desiring to clear up the muddy waters, this shall be my shout of victory.

What does it mean to have joy in the morning? For me, I’ve come to realize my joy is based on many a thing. For example, did I rest well? Am I emotionally spent before my feet even hit the floor? Do I dread some part of the day ahead? Do I reach for my iPhone before my Bible? Do I focus on difficult circumstances instead of on His goodness and His mercies, which are new every morning? (Lam. 3:23)

I am quite confident that these temporal thoughts and things surrounding me are joy robbers. They have a way of stealing not only my focus, but my time, my energy, and even my happiness in the Savior. Christ is my source of strength, my love abounding, my peace of mind, and my daily rest. He will sustain me in every way as I allow more room for Him and His joy in my life.

Regardless of the emotion that hits me as I open my eyes from sleep, may I declare with the psalmist, “But as for me, I shall sing of Your strength; Yes, I shall joyfully sing of Your lovingkindness in the morning, For You have been my stronghold and a refuge in the day of my distress” (Psalm 59:16).

Here is portion of a song I wrote this week proclaiming this desire of my heart. May He always be my One and Only Song of Praise.

MY SONG OF PRAISE
Amy Branson Fata
© 2013 Portion Music

Your sweep of mercy reaches
And in the trial teaches
That I may find new hope afresh
Your pruning hand is faithful
So loving and so able
And in my spirit, I say yes

You are the One and Only
Companion when I’m lonely
You cover me with streams of grace
You are the One Who knows me
My Father Who adores me
You are my endless Song of Praise

I’m lifting my white flag high in the air to You, Lord
The earthly treasures I store up in vain, I surrender
The dreams that keep me discontent, I surrender
The pain of loss, I surrender
The agendas of each day, I surrender
The time I’ve called mine, I surrender
The loved ones I hold so dear, I surrender
The criticisms or accolades of man, I surrender
The memories that shape me, I surrender
The emotions that move me, I surrender
The talents that define me, I surrender
The passions that inspire me, I surrender
The failures and successes, I surrender
My rest in the night, I surrender
My actions through the day, I surrender
My body and my health, I surrender
My inner self, I surrender
My sin and my pride, I surrender
Every deed, every thought, every breath, I surrender
Who I was, who I am, and who I hope to be, I surrender
To be wholly Thine, nothing can remain in my grip
Yet, even to open my hands to You I must have Your aid
So bless me now in this endeavor
Without Your power, I am incapable of even the smallest surrender
Own all of me I pray, this day and always

In his book, The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis states this about our decision to love someone or something.

“There is no safe investment.To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken . . .”

But he goes on to mention that if we decide to act contrary to God’s will and refuse to be vulnerable in this way, we will store our love away as if in a coffin of selfishness. Then he writes,

“We shall draw nearer to God, not by trying to avoid the sufferings inherent in all loves, but by accepting them and offering them to Him; throwing away all defensive armor. If our hearts need to be broken, and if He chooses this as a way in which they should break, so be it. What I know about love and believe about love and giving one’s heart began in this.”

In recent months, I have spent a good portion of my time pondering the art of loving one another. Love is certainly our most treasured gift as human beings. As followers of Christ, our highest aim and our greatest command is to love. But how do I offer it consistently? Do I risk the heartbreak often associated with being so vulnerable? I’ve come to believe the answers to these questions are quite simple.

To live this way I need only to look upon the nail-pierced hands and feet of the One who loved me best. Love in its ultimate form redeemed my soul and won my heart. So then, can I let myself be vulnerable to love Him in return by loving others? Oh yes, for He not only charges me to do so, but enables and empowers me with the capability. It is a beautiful cyclical process designed by the Creator of all things, including love.

The risk may be great, but the reward is far greater.

The late thirties seem to be for me a time of challenge and reflection. Maybe turning forty next year won’t be so bad after all! I appreciate how the Lord is never done with me. I love that about Him. In His perfect wisdom, He sees the timing and steps needed to complete each of His precious projects.

Our human nature seeks to finish a task and move on. Some people, like my husband, enjoy being in the process of a task. Others, like me, love the result, the product, being there, etc. The Lord, however, sees His children as being continually in process until they arrive home at His appointed time. This is comforting to me when I am being tossed around by the waves of my earthly boat ride. This is simply my journey to completion in Him. I can rest, knowing He is working in my life through every situation.

When I was around eight years old, I learned to sing “He’s Still Working on Me” by Joel Hemphill. I performed it in many places as I was growing up. I still remember it well.

He’s still working on me
To make me what I ought to be
It took Him just a week to make the moon and stars
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars
How loving and patient He must be
He’s still working on me

There really ought to be a sign upon my heart
Don’t judge me yet, there’s an unfinished part
But I’ll be perfect just according to His plan
Fashioned by the Master’s loving hands

In the mirror of His Word, reflections that I see
Make me wonder why He never gave up on me
He loves me as I am and helps me when I pray
Remember He’s the Potter, I’m the clay

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians. 1:6).

Dear Lord, thank You for Your patience with me. Thank You that You never tire of my being “in process.” Please do as only You can to transform me into the likeness of Your Son. I’m so ready to be more like Him.

Psalm 3 melts my heart. David’s journey is a great encouragement to any believer who fails or experiences the pain of others’ sinful failures.

A SHIELD TO ME 
Amy Branson Fata
© 2010 Portion Music (ASCAP)

Lord, You know how weak I am / Father, You have seen / All the wickedness in me / Make the foulest clean / Right and left I now forsake / For my wandering feet / Lord, You know the path I take / Make it straight for me    

Chorus: Be my glory, lift my head / Lord, deliver me / From Your mountain, hear my cry / Be, O Lord, a shield to me

In the night I whisper low / In the dark I sigh / Yet there is a truth I know / You sustain my life / Answered prayer renews my soul / You have heard my cry / Sin no longer takes its toll / Peaceful rest is mine

Shield above and shield below / Shield my every part / Shield within and shield without / Shield my feeble heart / All the darts of Satan thrown / Cannot cause me sting / I am shielded by His grace / From the enemy

Everlasting, You are God / Faithful to the end / You have walked upon this sod / To call me a friend / Lord, salvation does belong / In Your righteous hand / Make of me Your very own / Satisfy Your plan

What does it mean to live from the heart? I have recently been challenged to do so. I know what the Word says about the dangers of trusting one’s heart, but I have also learned that to deny the heart completely is to live life out of one’s head. Mere knowledge of my Lord and His truths isn’t enough; there must be a balance between the head and the heart.

Proverbs 4 commands us to watch over our hearts with all diligence. Certainly we need to guard it from the world and its charms; yet I also desire to tend my heart, to weigh its responses, and to understand why I think and behave the way I do.

Ephesians 3 states that Christ dwells within our hearts through faith, and because of this, we can experience the breadth and length and height and depth of His love. I deeply desire to comprehend the riches of His love. I pray to be found freely dwelling in my heart with Him, and thus living out His love in its fullness, not only for my personal growth, but for His kingdom’s sake. To be connected with my heart not only draws me closer to my Savior, but also allows me to engage more deeply with those around me. As people are placed on my path by His sovereign hand, I hope to look into their eyes and see what is behind them. May I be present in the moment with them and connected heart to heart.

Let me serve You, dear Lord, I pray
Let me love Your people this way
Let my eyes no longer be blind
Let them be tender, gentle, kind
Let Your plan in fullness unfold
Let me come forth as flawless gold
Let my head be willing to share
With my heart while finding You there
In You alone, I dare this dream
You are my Captain, Savior, King

Lord, I have watched with wonder the works of Your mighty hand.
I have enjoyed the beauty of Your creation.
I have experienced Your peace flooding over me.
I have felt the warmth of friendship and its deep abiding love.
I have received pleasure and pain in their equal fullness.
I have treasured Your forgiveness.
I have reveled in your grace.
I have measured my spiritual growth, its fruit sweet to taste.
I have been small and big with You, sometimes at the same time.
I have cried tears of sorrow and tears of joy and known Your presence in both.
I have watched new life enter this world and let go of loved ones going home.
I have danced in Your light and cuddled in the shadow of Your wings.
I am thirty-eight years old and have done all of these things.
When I am seventy-six, what will I know then?
For the abundant riches of You grow deeper with each passing season.

In no particular order . . .

I’m thankful for my precious Savior
I’m thankful for grace
I’m thankful for the cross
I’m thankful for the cleansing blood
I’m thankful for His protection
I’m thankful for His pruning, yet loving hand
I’m thankful for another day in His arms
I’m thankful for His presence
I’m thankful for the knowledge that He alone deserves the glory
I’m thankful that He is sovereign
I’m thankful for the simple fact that I am His