When we are falsely accused and in a way that would tarnish the name of Christ, we must clear our name for the sake of His. When our character is in question though we are innocent, it is beneficial to our witness to maintain an honorable reputation. However, there are times when defending ourselves isn’t necessary. We are called to turn the other cheek when slapped. Jesus calls us to put others before ourselves. He said,
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I say to you, do not show opposition against an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other toward him also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak also.” (Matthew 5:38–40)
I was verbally attacked on the phone last night even though I was completely innocent of the accusations thrust at me. I wish I could report that I turned the other cheek and let my accuser vent her inappropriate frustration to the fullest. I wish I could write that I gently and lovingly prodded her to discover the real issue at hand. I wish I could say that I ministered to the broken pieces of her heart and let her know that her deep need for love and acceptance was seen. But sadly, no. Instead, I defended my slapped face and released a verbal thrashing of my own. Sigh.
I have always been able to articulate my feelings with a passionate determination to right wrongs and set records straight. At times, this has served me well. But it is a blessing and a curse. Last evening, I saw the negative effects of my quick tongue. After the phone call, I was equally angry with this woman and myself! I know better. I knew what needed to happen to put out her fire, and I didn’t do it. My defense, though justified, was not necessary, and I found myself grieved, even convicted in my spirit.
I sent her an apology for my tone of voice. She then proceeded to share all the inner workings of her heart that had led to misjudging me and attacking me. Thankfully, my witness is still intact, and I have the potential to minister to her and her family in the future. But I am saddened that my desire for vindication trumped her need to be heard. I was surprised by both my level of anger and my willingness to display it. I truly do not remember the last time I spoke in such a way.
Sin is always crouching at the door. We learn this from the third person to ever exist who also happens to be the first person to be born in sin! Cain’s anger toward his brother Abel caused the Lord to say, “Why are you angry? And why is your face gloomy? If you do well, will your face not be cheerful? And if you do not do well, sin is lurking at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it.” (Genesis 4:6–7)
Sin was obviously lurking at my door. God is gracious to humble me and to grow me in this way. I am thankful for the reminder this failure brings: I am redeemed and set free from my sin because of Christ’s sacrifice. He made Himself of no reputation and He intends to do the same with me. Through His strength, I can master my every inclination to defend myself, exalt myself, or prove myself in any way. Rather, I can choose to lean into my union with Him and calmly analyze the real issue at hand. I can view my attackers as more important than myself. By God’s grace, next time I will.
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