My friend and I use the phrase “in a hole” to describe our emotional state during difficult times. We make comments like: “Don’t worry, I’m not in a hole.” “I’m on the edge of a hole.” Or, heaven forbid, “I’m in a hole.”
I recently returned from a small getaway with Patrick. Our time away couldn’t have been sweeter. The reentry into real life, however, was not as sugary. I stood on the edge of a hole the entire first day back. Difficulties and disappointments seemed to hit from every angle. Joy was non-existent. Tears were waiting in the wings ready to make their grand entrance.
The enemy knows where to aim his arrows. My heart is so easily swayed into a “woe is me” condition. I prayed through the day making small attempts to step away from the looming hole. I felt unfit for human consumption and yet was desperately needed by all of my humans. I kept the hole in view, longing to leap in and surrender to the consolation of self-pity.
I wish I could report that by day’s end all was well and that I went to bed floating on a cloud of spiritual freedom and joy. No, I’m writing these words in the darkness of the wee morning hours after very little sleep. My heart is relieved that I do not have to lead worship this morning, for I am weary and out of step with my true reality.
I’ve tromped through all my memory verses. I’ve texted my friend about the infamous hole. And, most importantly, I’ve repented to the Lord for this ungrateful heart posture. So what’s left to do? Well, perhaps it’s time to practice what I preach…
First, I must speak truth to myself. I’ve spent the last several years encouraging fellow women believers to lean into their union with Christ. The reality of “Christ in us” is why Truth Matters. He is our source of strength, safety, stability, and service. His power is fully available to us. It’s not something we need to search out or somehow conjure up on our own. It’s fully ours!
My oneness with Christ is how I will put one foot in front of the other today, tomorrow, and all the days to follow. This union is also how I will let go of yesterday’s gloom. Joy is mine in Him! Charles Spurgeon said, “There is no joy in this world like union with Christ. The more we can feel it, the happier we are.” This level of contentment is mine to choose, and He will enable me to do so. Today, I choose joy.
…do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength. (Nehemiah 8:10)
Second, I must answer my call to gratitude because Gratefulness Matters. The city where we’d just experienced our mini vacation is populated by many joyless people. Some street corners revealed the grievous tragedy of extreme poverty. We also crossed paths with countless individuals who were at a loss not for money but for satisfaction. It was obvious on their faces, in their demeanors, or in their life pursuits.
I don’t have to look far to find the blessings that are mine in Christ Jesus. I have true satisfaction through my identity in Him. I even have a warm bed to cuddle up in! Why choose to dwell in despair and teeter on the edge of a hole? Yes, trials are difficult. But even on the most devastating of days, I can be grateful for my Savior’s presence and power at work in me.
Then those who sing as well as those who play the flutes will say,
“All my springs of joy are in you.” (Psalm 87:7)
I definitely fit into the category of “those who sing.” May my song ever proclaim the truth and joy He supplies. This is what leaning into my union with Jesus looks like. Held tightly to His chest, there is no hole in view.
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